Things I could use

(Pre Post Script: I forgot to add my disclaimer. Oops. Here 'tis, then.....
I adamantly do not expect you personally to do anything about this. This is not a request for stuff, per se. Rather, it is an alert: If you have something matching a description here or know of someone who does, or know of someone who knows of someone who does, let me know. I'm putting my wish list "out there" because God's universe conspires to deliver what we ask for and seek. I am blessed to have knocked and had doors open, asked and received, sought and found what I and the kids need, though often what meets the need is shaped differently from my initial request. Still, the need is met, my kids thrive, I am blessed. That is all.)

Piano sheet music for Bruce Hornsby's Mandolin Rain.

Nine hours a week of miscellaneous household help. I have a dear friend who has come when she can. She's awesome. She's perfect--her background is early childhood ed., she works harder than anyone I've ever met, she makes fantastic sandwiches, and she's nice. But she has her own family, as do other folks who've dropped in to help (my aunt, friends, my folks work--you know, people who also have their own lives). Meanwhile, since I'm flying solo, which would be plenty busy all by itself, and doing therapy things, kids' lessons, school, walking the kids through their chores, writing here, reading and studying to stay current in my field(s) and investing in the actual relationships I have with my kids (trying to have some fun with them), I often find myself short on time for all the things I'd like to have done. So if you have a dish fairy or a queen of washing down the window-sills, tell her to get in touch with me, would you? Thanks. While she works, I'll go file some stuff and fill bags with outgrown clothes which can then leave the house and be gone forever!! Hear me laughing maniacally? (It's okay--I'll get over it. Heh.) This help could also come in the form of a big brawny guy who would help me move stuff. Though of course we would then find a manly title for him. King of the Furniture? Prince of Construction and All Things Heavy? I'll work on that.

A laptop (or something). I seem to have overwhelmed the memory of this poor computer. The compact flash driver is cranky because I don't really have enough room for 3GB of pictures, let alone the discs I'd like to rip (for when the kids have squished the original and I would cry except that I have saved a copy on the hard drive and can just burn a fresh one--ha!). So I have not a clue here as to what I need or how much it would be or where I would get the money, or anything, really. I do know something about what I want. You're surprised at that, aren't you? (heh) I need it to be, well, probably a mac ibook. I want easy, lots of fun things to do, easy, DVD burner and drive, compact flash drive, simple desktop publishing, lots of memory (kids will use it for school software) and easy, easy, easy. You'll probably find this under your bed if you look now. Go ahead. I'm waiting. (tap, tap, tap) No? Hmmm. Look some more and let me know--it could be hiding in your flour canister (carefully wrapped, of course.) Seriously, though--any thoughts on this are appreciated. By the time I can afford to do something, I'd like to have my list of features/requirements all worked out.

A twelve passenger van. It should be new, free, and painted an iridescent purpley-blue. Like fairy wings hiding in hydrangeas. Also, it must have headrests, side curtain airbags, air vents for each row, a tow package, and get 40 mpg. What? Not possible. Oh please. Anything's possible. (See next item.) Toyota has been selling a hybrid version of the Sienna in Japan for awhile now and everyone there loves it. Well, who wouldn't? It's comfy, drives well, is safe, nicely arranged, and it gets 40 mpg. I'd happily settle for one of those. My problem is that I'll soon enough be needing to allow for some sort of a mechanical lift for Q (swallowing hard). While a lift would certainly fit into a mini-van, it rather eliminates the space for the seat belts I need for everyone else. Also, what happens when one of them decides to take up the cello? Or fishing for prize-winning marlin? Or needs to haul their new garage band or string quartet to engagements? Food for thought, I know. Our current transportation cost me a lot of money last month. Money I don't have to begin with. Otherwise, I have no complaints--it gets consistently over 20 mpg (loaded with kids and stuff, city/hwy combined), though it is beginning to show wear. At nearly 140,000 miles, I suppose it's to be expected. Anyway, if you come across a van meeting the above specs, do be in touch, will you? Thanks.

I was going to post about needing curriculum for the coming school year. I have a rising seventh grader, a rising fifth grader, a rising second grader, and one who should be doing kindergarten work, but since she's done all that in her quest to "do school" with the big kids, I'm going to start sneaking in first grade stuff and just not tell her. As you might imagine, the good stuff can be quite expensive. Without divulging too many details, a friend and her lovely hubby who knew of my financial, erm, concerns, have just dropped a huge chunk of what I need for my eldest out of the sky and into my lap. She emailed me last night and I'm still reeling. I don't know what to say. "Wow" is good. "Thank you" is appropriate. But somehow, well, neither is quite enough. While there are still definite needs here and no apparent manner in which to address them, I am stunned at the enormity of this gift. Not just the curriculum, though that's significant, to say the least. But most of all, the friendship which sponsored it. I am blessed.

Prayer and propping up (also known as "oomph"). I have a "procedure" coming up. I saw a vascular surgeon on Friday who kept saying "I don't know what the heck that is." That is not comforting, sir. It's coming off/out/whatever. The dermatologist called it an angioma, someone else diagnosed it years ago as a blue bleb nevus (it doesn't look like that anymore), the punch biopsy I had done about seven and a half years ago came back "normal", which it clearly isn't and wasn't, but that derm lady moved away, so who knows where the records went. I need to call the nice doc back and ask if I should really be seeing a plastics person, since he indicated that once the thing is gone I'm likely to have quite a "hole" there. So there's that. There's also the fact that, while I feel I can never really do enough for Q, I'm tired and getting tireder. (Don't tell my kids that I just wrote that--they'll never let me live down my improper use of the form of "tire". Sigh.) I need sleep, yes, but also some refilling of an unnamed well. I read, pray, study things spiritual and pragmatic, but that's not it. Hauling everyone around in a timely fashion is wearing me out, probably in part because I sometimes feel like I'm in a constant state of mourning. Life surely is what it is, but I am sad at the loss of my expectations--of a happy, secure home and hearth in perpetuity, of healthy and relatively uncomplicated childhoods for each of my kids. Looking too closely at all this makes me nauseous, mostly because, try as I might to get the little colored squares (they seem to grow) to line up each on their own face of the big black cube, there's no sense to be made of the pertinent issues here. And I'm feeling the strain of trying to get those gigantic squares to just move, already. A friend calls it "pushing the river"--lots of effort put into something one doesn't actually control. So I'm going to put more effort into just riding the wave, doing the next thing, worrying less and just putting one foot in front of the other. Thanks for thinking of me.

I'll be back to discuss the feeding clinic visit and more.

Happy Sunday (smiling and waving).