Open letter

Dear Toyota (et al.),

I don't have much time so I'll just keep this brief. Why, oh why, have you not yet seen fit to sell the hybrid version of the Sienna in the U.S.? Remember, back in your business classes when they talked about how to keep customers happy? You know, just by giving us what we want? And remember how there's that generally accepted marketing maxim that the voice of one represents at least a thousand others who feel the same way but haven't made themselves known?

Here's the deal: the economy is tanking, fruits, veggies and gas prices are through the ever-loving roof, and I know personally of several families who would be thrilled to have the option of driving a mini-van that seats eight, has a fabulous arrangement for cargo space, is safe, and gets about 40 mpg. Look, by now most of us have figured out that China owns us. CEOs make headlines with "competitive" salaries whilst food banks suffer less supplies, more clients. Things are a little tense around here these days.

I'd like to suggest that you do your part and start selling the hybrid mini-van. Like yesterday would've been fine. It's either that or someone can start dumping Ativan into the water supply. I prefer your kind of van.

Thanks so much for your time and for letting me get that out -- it's been keeping me up. G'night.

Signed,
me (and a few thousand of my closest friends)