FAQs

It turns out I don't do memes or get to know you lists or quizzes or really anything remotely fun, like answer email. Instead, I'm doing this. Perhaps it will put to rest those pressing questions that keep coming up.

How many children do you have?
Five.

Are those all yours?
Yes. (No. I pick up extra children on my way out to run errands just to make sure that I'm properly challenged while trying to accomplish something.)

Do they all have the same father?
Yes, they all have the same father. What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with him? (Q)
Nothing. Yes, he's sleepy (but that's not why his head is drooping--he's filtering stimulus), no he can't sit up, yes he is the cutest baby ever.

No. I mean, what are his issues?
(Grrrr) Got an hour or four? The invaginations on the surface of his brain should be big squiggles, like we're all used to seeing in a normal brain. Q's squiggles are tiny, not deep waves. This indicates that as the neurons were migrating, essentially up his brain stem, to make the brain, something happened to mess up the building of one wave upon the previous wave. Therefore the subsequent waves didn't make it as far as they might have. In short, he doesn't have as many neurons as he "should" and therefore just has less in the way of raw material. (At this point people usually begin to glaze over a little.) Doesn't he have a lovely smile?

Wow. That must be hard. Isn't that hard?
To quote a nice friend: Whatever, whatever, whatever. He's beautiful and thoroughly loved. Besides, nothing here seems to be imminently life-threatening, for goodness sakes, nor is anyone here having to think about turning off life support. There's a gradient to the awfulness one could be facing. Q is happy and growing and learning. And all of us are blessed.

How old is he? (Q)
Not old enough to know better, but old enough to get away with it.

How is Q doing?
Very well. Everyone says so--therapists, neuro people, geneticist. He's engaged, happy, cute, burbley. Everyone who gets to have a little time with him comes away smiling--he smiles for people he recognizes as friends, new or old. If he likes you, and he probably will, you'll come away feeling like the sun kissed you.

How many days a week does Q have therapy?
Three to five, depending.

What kinds of things is Q doing in therapy?
Right now he's working on sitting, holding himself up on all fours, rolling over, holding on to toys, social cueing, playing games, communicating using switch devices. Head control is a biggie. He's gotten better and better with having a strong tummy, and he's almost able to pull a cloth off his face to play peek-a-boo. Both of those were big goals set six months ago or more. Happy dance!

What do you do with the other kids while Q is in therapy?
They're with me about 99.9% of the time. While we wait, we're usually reading aloud, or doing spelling or math. Sometimes we just talk or play games.

Do you homeschool?
Why, yes we do! (How did you know? Was it the shoes?)

I could never do that (homeschool). Isn't it hard?
It works for us.

What about socialization?
Anybody want some bean dip?

Where do you get your curriculum?
I take many of the suggestions given in The Well-Trained Mind, adjusting as needed to suit each kid.

When are you going to write a book?
I'll sign my book deal as soon as I can pull myself away from General Hospital and my endless supply of bon-bons.

What color are your eyes?
Green. Wait. What?

Where do you live?
Right here, silly.

Are you available?
For what?

Can we meet?
No. You scare me.

Any thoughts on dating?
For myself or in general? For me: Bwahaha. (knee-slapping hysterical laughter) In general: I'm sure it's a lovely theory, as far as it goes.

Why no pictures lately?
The camera seems to have gone toes up. I'm very sad about this. Pray the computer doesn't do the same--or wherever you are, you'll hear me shrieking.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A painter. Or writer. Or sybarite. How 'bout all three?

Where do you shop?
I don't. I try never to go anywhere that requires spending money, hauling all the kids out to do something they take turns hating, or spending money.

Where would you like to shop?
Heh. Okay, if I could, I would hit Old Navy and The Children's Place clearance racks more than once or twice a year. Of course, there are plenty of really great stores out there--Talbot's for Kids, Gap, Target, L.L. Bean, Hanna Andersson, yadda yadda. I would send my friend out to Goodwill for the kids--she always finds lovely brands, in great shape, for not much moolah.

What's next for you?
Maybe I can get some sleep? Seriously, I don't envision things changing (much) for several years, at least: school, meds, school, therapy, play, field trips, school, meds, doctor visits, Q equipment, school. And laundry, of course.

General observation based on FAQs:
People don't have enough to do. Really. (But thanks for caring anyway--that part I find very touching. It's the nosy parts that throw me.)