Saturday, January 15, 2011


Long time no write.

Q is a busy boy in this new year - riding the bus to preschool three mornings a week, using his big boy bed, sleeping a little earlier at night.  The bigger kids spent two and a half weeks with their dad and are back now.  We're almost moved in.  Does this process ever really end?  I have three or four large boxes full of stuff waiting for a cul-de-sac sale, probably in June.  I expect that number to rise significantly. 

It's been pretty weird, getting into the kitchen stuff.  I've been scrubbing a lot as I unpack.  I'd forgotten just how sick I was when pregnant with Q, and just how incapacitated.  So it's been strange, getting into stuff from a former life.  Very Twilight Zone - I'm not nearly as much that person now as I would have imagined myself to be.  And yet, I'm more "her" than I thought I'd ever be.  I don't know how to say it better than that, but there it is.

So I'm sitting here at the bar/counter, with papers to the side of this, E's ancient Dell laptop.  My little stack contains paperwork to sign, some 20% off coupons (wishful thinking - we shan't be shopping anytime soon), Q's triangle (for Christmas, part of his new percussion set) a glue stick, iTunes card (Q's), pencil, HOA info, and a little yellow pad, on which is scribbled:  Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich (shamelessly lifted from a friend).

On the fridge there are photos of smiling babies, the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, airdrying, there are scones from Grandma and fruit on the counter for breakfast.  There's medicine and handwashed dishes, now dry, awaiting a return to their respective places.  A small fox wearing My Generation doll workout shoes is perched against a package of Q's wipes.  I see that S left the pickles out, silly goose.  There's fresh basil growing next to the sink (thanks, mom), and towels to take to the laundry.

The living room floor has a blanket for Q and Lincoln Logs - which all the kids played with all week long.  There are stacks of Q's equipment and toys along the walls - still working out what to do with all of this.  Some things are tough to organize so they're quickly accessible and yet stored attractively, you know?  More work to do there.  The violins are perched next to the piano and the music stand holds court mid-room.  Q's strollerchair waits for him for breakfast time, and his little adjustable table sits patiently, ready for the next onslaught of paint or marker.

It's quiet now, save for the last kid trailing slowly to bed, having spent quality time with a screwdriver, trying to figure out batteries for the solar desk lamp.

It's a good house.  They're good kids, and much-loved.  I am blessed.

I'd best be off - pickles to put away and dishes to manage, you know.  Hoping good things for you and yours, especially amidst the chaos we've all had this week.  Here's to healing, and to Life:  L'chaim.


Anonymous said...

Love you ((Mama Bear))

Carroll said...

Bless you! - Glad for the positives. You are such a great mom and lovely person.

Carroll said...

Re-reading and love your music. Hang in there. People care even if you don't see them. Inspired and praying.